Inside: Does that mean you get to have Christmas Sex?

Inside: Who am I kidding? Here's to getting the most presents.

Inside: Don't you wish Jesus was your Messiah now?

Inside: You're holding it

Inside: I'll pick it out, you pay for it.

Inside: Man, are you screwed

Inside: With a light-up, vibrating nose, who needs reindeer games?

Inside: I made a donation in your name to some random charity that means something to someone somewhere.